Series: Still Unfinished – God’s Work on the Canvas of My Life

There are seasons in life when faith collides with reality, and everything we thought we understood about God is shaken. I have walked through many such moments—times when prayers were met with silence, promises felt delayed, and life unfolded in ways I never expected. These were moments when my heart whispered the question many believers fear to voice out loud:
“Why me, Lord?”

My journey with unanswered questions did not begin with grief. It began much earlier—through childhood struggles marked by rejection and instability. I remember crying silently into my pillow, within the boarding school walls,wondering why love felt conditional, why acceptance seemed distant, and why my heart carried wounds no one could see. Those early battles planted questions deep in my spirit long before I understood what faith truly meant.

As I grew older, those questions followed me into adulthood. The Ministry introduced battles I never anticipated. Friends I trusted walked away. Words meant to encourage instead of wounded. People I poured my life into turned against me. Betrayal came wrapped in smiles, cutting deeper than any sword. I prayed for strength while feeling shattered inside. Many nights I cried before God asking,
“Where are you in this?”

Even when David and I built our home and family, life wasn’t free from storms. We faced financial lack, attacks from unexpected places, and moments when survival felt like a miracle. Raising children while carrying hidden battles stretched us beyond strength. There were days I felt unqualified for motherhood, unworthy for ministry, and unseen by heaven. Yet every time I reached my breaking point, God met me there.

Then came the immigration journey—a season of uprooting, rebuilding, and starting over. Leaving familiar ground, culture, and relationships required faith I didn’t think I possessed. I questioned whether I had misunderstood God. But looking back, I see His divine orchestration in every closed door and every new beginning.

And then, after decades of battles and breakthroughs, came the valley of the shadow of death—David’s passing. It reopened every unanswered question:
Why now?
Why this way?
Why after all we survived together?

In the quiet of that grief, God did not give explanations. He gave presence.
He whispered, “I am still writing your story.”

I realized that faith is not the absence of questions—
Faith is trusting God when there are no answers.
Faith is continuing when the heart feels broken.
Faith is believing God is good even when life is not.

The unanswered questions that once felt like stones became altars—places where God built deeper surrender, purer faith, and unshakeable trust.

Today, I stand not with all the answers—but with confidence in the One who does.

He is still faithful.
He is still working.
And He is still good.

🕊 Reflection Questions

What questions have you been carrying silently before God?

How has God shown His presence even without giving explanations?

What pain is God asking you to surrender instead of understanding?

🙏 Prayer

Lord, teach me to trust You even when I do not understand Your ways. Help me rest in Your presence when questions overwhelm me. Turn my confusion into confidence, and my tears into testimony. Strengthen my faith to believe that You are still writing my story. Amen.

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