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No matter what has happened in the past, let’s reason it out. It’s of paramount importance to be completely honest with yourself, even if not with anyone else, about ‘what’ you did and the true ‘why’ behind your actions. Understanding the real reasons doesn’t excuse what you did, but it fosters comprehension.

Recognizing that you chose to adopt certain beliefs about yourself based on your behavior makes it much easier to change those beliefs and forgive yourself. For instance, imagine you stole something when you were young, and the guilt has been gnawing at you. Over time, you inadvertently developed a belief that you are a bad person. However, from a more rational standpoint, realize that making that choice at the time doesn’t inherently make you a bad person; it was a decision you had to make at that point.

Nevertheless, it’s crucial to understand that when we do wrong or harm others, it’s not sufficient to merely say, “I was young and ignorant” or “the past is the past—I forgive myself.” We must reflect on what we did wrong, why we did it, and how we can learn from the experience to become better individuals. This brings us to the next step—making a resolution. It’s time to commit to changing our actions and making amends for the wrongs we’ve done.

All these years, we’ve been looking at life through the colored glasses of our ongoing self-talk. We’ve had distorted views, but it’s high time to change that perspective. In the upcoming blog, we will explore practical steps to revolutionize our self-talk for the better and liberate ourselves from the cage of shame and guilt.